Yesterday, the apprentices at St Stephens had to give an exposition of Romans 12:10. Preparing for this talk really struck me, and challenged me, because of the level of intimacy and ‘mutuality’ Paul expects in the church. We are to show mutual love and honour to each other.
Casting Crowns, a great rock band, have a famous song in which they critique the typical shallowness of Christian relationships. “With a painted grin, I play the part again, so everyone will see me the way that I see them. Are we happy plastic people? Under shiny plastic steeples, with walls around our weakness, and smiles to hide our pain…is there anyone who’s been there, are there any hands to raise, am I the only one who’s traded the altar for a stage?”
In direct contrast to the superficiality that characterises so much of church relationships, the Apostle Paul writes Romans 12, a chapter describing authentic, reciprocal love relationships. After spending 11 chapters explaining what the Gospel is; Paul now turns his attention to prescribe what the Gospel community should look like. Our focus is on verse 10, where Paul emphasises the reciprocity of Christian love and honour.
10a – “be devoted to each other in brotherly love” In one verse Paul combines two family words. The word translated ‘devoted’ refers to our natural love for relatives, often between a parent and a child; whilst ‘brotherly love’ denotes the mutual love of siblings. Paul, by employing language that applied to blood relationships, human family, society’s most intimate social unit, is doing something radical. He is saying that the tender, warm, deep, genuine love that unites a family should characterise the church.
Specifically, this includes sharing space together, including others into our living space. We have a culture in Cape Town where, when people come over to your house, they expect a nice cup of tea and an intense chat. But that is not just what families do, families do all of life together, we cook for each other, we laugh together, cry together, pray together. We exist in the context of family; do you exist in the context of your Christian relationships? Or are you a lone ranger? Do you shudder to even think of spending time and sharing your space with others? This also means that we should share our possessions, just like a family does. The reason why the people in that song are scared to open up is because they think they will be rejected. But Paul says we are to be devoted to each other, to love with genuine affection, even when we see each others sin.
Remember that there is an implied mutuality, a hidden reciprocity, in the phrase ‘one another’. This means that devotion and love are two-way streets in the Christian community; there is a symbiotic balance between giving and receiving. Is this happening? Are you devoted to your brothers and sisters? Do you share life, time and possessions?
10b – “Honour one another above yourselves”. Mutuality deals not just with affection, but with honour. Christians are to be immune to the world’s status ladders, and confer on each other the highest possible respect. We are to be much more concerned to praise, affirm, honour and celebrate others than we are to receive the same. Concretely, in our context, I think this means seeing businessmen, refugees, students, wives and older Christians mutually honouring each other. In a country which gives no respect to the refugee, the Christian community is to be different. In a society that disregards the elderly, we are to show honour. In an age where humour always involves ripping someone off, we should long to exalt our friends. Mutual honour, reciprocity.
Gospel motivation. Finally, we are we going to get the power to do this? The Gospel, the message of a man who needed no-one else, and yet who gave definition to the word ‘love’. Because, by dying as our substitute, and reconciling us to His Father, Jesus showed us the ultimate picture of devotion, of brotherly love, of honouring others. Those in Christ have received this incredible love, and now have the ability to give it. Will they?
Casting Crowns end their song with this haunting question: “Would it set me free, if I dared to let you see, the truth behind the person you imagined me to be? Would your arms be open, or would you walk away? Would the love of Jesus be enough to make you stay?”